Chicken Woody
Serves: 2 sex-crazed lovers

4 Heaving, Round, Voluptuous Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts

1 14 1/2 Oz. Can Italian Style Stewed Tomatoes

2 Tbsp. Corn Starch

2 Tsp. Pre-Mixed Italian Seasoning

1/4 Cup Grated Parmesan Cheese

1 Tbsp. O.B.S. Seasoning

2 Cold Beers

Prep: Set an ambient tone of sultriness by lighting some candles and playing some soft romantic music. Preheat your oven to 425 degrees. Gently mold the 4 heaving, round, voluptuous, boneless, skinless chicken breasts in a shallow baking pan and caress with your warm fingers. Close your eyes and remember that time when you were in the backseat of the car with that special someone. The electricity was overwhelming, as you were about to experience oral pleasure like you have never before…you know, the family was coming back from a visit to the Colonel and you and your brother couldn't believe the smells in the car. The bucket of chicken in the front seat made you crazy, remember? (If needed, take a sip of your cold beer for memory enhancement) Wow, what a flashback!

Now, cover your breasts with foil of an aluminum consistency and bake until moist, tender and succulent (approximately 20 minutes). Combine the stewed tomatoes, Italian seasoning, and O.B.S. Seasoning in a saucepan. Carefully mix the cornstarch and a ¼ cup of beer in a plastic cup left over from the neighbor's keg party and stir into the saucepan being careful as not to form lumps. Cook over a low, sensuous, steamy, hot Louisiana August night heat. Uncover your tender breasts and liberally apply tomato mixture. Sprinkle cheese and tease tauntingly for another 5 minutes at 425 degrees. Serve on satin sheets.

Side Effects: Heavy breathing, moaning, prolonged petting, profuse sweating, funny faces, and body positions you would never tell your mother about.