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Cooking Without A Conscience


TIRED OF TRASHING YOUR KITCHEN? LET ME DO IT!
Recently, Neil has been donating himself to selective charities who are looking for a different spin to their silent auction. He will come to your house as a guest chef and cook dinner for 3-4 couples in your kitchen. Ever seen a tennis racket dice eggs? Make a grilled-cheese with an iron? Well those are just the appetizers! Stayed tuned for pictures and video of the comedy cooking routine in progress. For more information email info@cookingwithout.com.

10 RULES ABOUT FOOD YOU SHOULD LIVE BY
1. When preparing food you should never taste from the stirring spoon, unless you plan on eating the entire dish.

2. Expiration dates are always 5 days off. It’s just like turning the clock 20 minutes ahead in a bar.

3. Double dipping is forbidden unless you rotate the chip 180 degrees before insertion.

4. At a wedding reception, anything that sits on your plate for 30 minutes to an hour before you eat it should be considered a garnish and avoided. This includes the salad, the salad dressing, Brie cheese and the centerpiece. Rolls have an impenetrable shell that can last up to 3 hours.

5. At a professional baseball game never eat a hot dog until after the third inning. In the first 3 innings they are just re-heating the ones left over from the last game.

6. Food that falls in your lap but doesn’t hit the floor can be eaten no matter how long it sits there or how dirty your pants are. The 5-second rule does not apply here.

7. When as a kid your father said, “I want this floor so clean you can eat off of it” he didn’t really mean it.

8. Never put mayonnaise in the microwave when it is being used as a condiment. It will cross the time space continuum and turn into penicillin.

9. Don’t piss off the waiter before you get your meal, and don’t ever send anything back. Special people in all kitchens are hired to deal with this.

10. Halloween and Easter candy is good to eat up to 7 months as long as it has been sitting on top of the refrigerator.

** (Bonus) Never try someone’s home made hot sauce unless you have handlebars installed in your bathroom.

Neil checks in with some broads!
"BroadMinded", the best radio show on XM, recently invited Neil into their studios to share his wacky ideas about cooking to their national audience. Shari, Molly, and Christine, known to their adoring public as "The Broads", threw around ideas with Neil and discussed the necessity of Cooking Without a Conscience. The mere mention of feel good food was all it took to have these "Broads" instant fans. The feeling was definately mutual.

Shari, Christine and Molly are about to go on the air for their daily live 3 hour show.

Producer Kate and Board operator Jessica, keep the studio and its callers running smoothly.

Molly took time after the show to pose with Neil. You can listen to BroadMinded M-F 5-8 PM EST.

What the hell is cooking?
At the Volvo Around the World Classic in Baltimore's inner harbor, Neil Beller takes time out of his cooking demonstration to sample a fine pilsner.



No meatloaf can hold its own without the proper shape. Here Neil Beller shows the sandbox implement tool he used to mold his latest creation...Castle Loaf!


We be signing!
Neil Beller and Greg Hoffman were seen signing copies of their masterpiece "Cooking without a Conscience". Moments later they were mobbed by 1200 recipe hungry moms.



Neil and Greg's High School teacher and good friend, Mike Poletynski showed his face for this signing only because 25 years earlier he stated at a young entrepreneur assembly that Neil & Greg would amount to nothing. He was right of course.



Minutes after this picture was snapped, Greg entered the Witness Protection Plan for reasons unknown.



A young inspiring chef, Matt Beans, questions Neil on his method of using edible caulk to fix a cheesecake.


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